"Today one walks in gloom, downhearted and oppressed; tomorrow that same one is filled with joy."

A Note To Me: Everything is About Choice.

I love my Soul. She is incredible. Staying consciously connected to Her is the desire of my heart because She is the link between me and everything else out there in the wilderness of the unknown Cosmos including Mother-Father  'G' (Mother-Father God). 

Okay, so the "God" word seems to put off many people in the world. I have to say that's not a problem with me. In fact, I can never be done working on strengthening my personal relationship with God. So, yeah! the "God" word comes up matter-of-factly very often in the day. I am a total heart person. I wear my heart on my sleeves so to speak. I am transparent about all my deepest feelings to the point of embarrassment sometimes to the recipients of my love! So expect nothing less. Soul intimacy is essential. It's the marrow, the blood, bone, and strength of any relationship especially the ones that go beyond the mundane world. In this case, it is Mother-Father G.

There are many, many phases a human being goes through. The trick is knowing when one is over and a new one is starting. I have missed this point between worlds very often. Usually, like most normal human beings, when an experience is phasing out, I begin to feel deeply.  If the experience has been a painful, hurtful one, I go deep into the pain. I accept my non-acceptance of the disappointments that come with many other emotions, like betrayal, hypocrisy, lying, etc. I stay in deep. I refuse to budge until I am ready to budge. The people involved are the last people I want to be anywhere near. 

On the flip side, the ending of anything that has touched my heart, soul and being, receives the same amount of energy, but this time it is the energy of pure love and attachment. I love my experiences with the same intensity I hate other experiences that hurt me. 

This reminds me of a line I have been told very often at such times: "I never expected this from you!" What anyone who says this to me really means is "I can accept you on my terms and conditions. You be good and all will be fine. You be nasty and you can go to the dog house. You're not welcome here."

My Dear Soul, do you know how many years I have spent fretting over these statements said to me in every different conceivable way? Millions of years, that's how many! I hated myself for not being a nice person. I have cried buckets with remorse and regret but nothing changed for the better. I do the very same things over and over again. I  have loved fiercely and I have hated fiercely. Its what I know is inside me. It is what being human is about. This is not an excuse. This is just plain, straightforward explanation of what is.

"Today one walks in gloom, downhearted and oppressed; tomorrow that same one is filled with joy." ~ The Aquarian Gospel of Jesus the Christ.

Since life is not meant to stay in the status quo, there is always flow and movement. Something gives. Something always changes. One day, I had an awakening!! I awakened to the fact that the same amount of energy that loves so fiercely and deeply, is the same energy that will naturally hate the same way since both are within me. Everything is coming from me, is emanating from me, is being projected from me onto the world. It is the principle of life. At that moment of realization all the regret and remorse I felt over the years for me and my so-called bad behavior left instantly. I stopped being angry with the people at whom all of this potent energy was being directed at. I stopped being angry at me. I became more loving towards me, more tolerant of my imperfections. I still loved the people I loved, but every time I got over my bad phase and did my inner work, I added more to my list of love from the "hate" side.

The thing that keeps changing the equation in all cases, however, is the attachment. Attachment is the root cause of all inner pain and suffering. Drop the attachment whether you are being perfectly perfect or imperfectly imperfect!

I began to advocate BE YOU. Be You Fearlessly. Love Your Self (Your Higher Self) with total conviction. It is the difference between being in the joyous lushness of your sacred heart and, being lost in the wilderness of the desert of fear. You have to make a choice constantly.

Love, Peace, & Everything In Between!!

Lavina Olive Jain